Why do many ENFP women have the illusion that they can be like an ESTJ Woman or an ENTJ woman?

Hear me out Getting your Trinity Audio player ready…

It’s interesting to consider why an ENFP woman might perceive that she can embody the characteristics of an ESTJ or ENTJ woman. This “illusion” likely stems from a combination of shared surface-level traits and the ENFP’s ability to access and develop certain functions that, when used, can mimic the behavior of Te-dominant types like ESTJs and ENTJs.

Here’s a breakdown of the factors that might contribute to this perception:

1. Shared Extraversion (E): All three types are Extraverts, meaning they gain energy from interacting with the external world and other people. This shared fundamental orientation towards the outer world can create a sense of similarity in social and interactive contexts. An ENFP’s energy and enthusiasm can sometimes be mistaken for the assertive drive of an ESTJ or ENTJ.
2. Tertiary Extraverted Thinking (Te) in ENFPs: ENFPs have Extraverted Thinking (Te) as their tertiary cognitive function. While not their dominant mode of operation (which is Extraverted Intuition – Ne), a well-developed ENFP can utilize their Te to:
   • Organize external resources and plans.
   • Make logical decisions based on objective criteria (though this often serves their Fi values).
   • Be efficient and productive in pursuing their goals.
   • Communicate in a more direct and structured manner when necessary.
   When an ENFP is operating heavily in their Te, they can appear decisive, organized, and focused on execution – traits central to ESTJs (Dominant Te) and ENTJs (Dominant Te). This allows them to simulate the behavior of a Te-dominant type in specific situations, leading to the feeling that they are capable of being like them.
3. Goal-Oriented Nature (Differing Drivers): Both ESTJs, ENTJs, and ENFPs are goal-oriented, but their reasons and methods differ.
   • ESTJs are driven by achieving tangible results and maintaining order within established systems (Te-Si).
   • ENTJs are driven by strategic vision and implementing large-scale plans for the future (Te-Ni).
   • ENFPs are driven by exploring possibilities and championing values they believe in (Ne-Fi).
   An ENFP’s passion for a cause or a vision (Ne-Fi) can fuel a burst of organized, decisive energy (Te) to make that vision a reality. This period of focused execution might feel like the sustained drive of an ESTJ or ENTJ.
4. Assertiveness Fueled by Fi (ENFP) vs. Te (ESTJ/ENTJ): ENFPs, with their strong Introverted Feeling (Fi), have deeply held values and a desire for authenticity. When these values are challenged or they are passionate about something, they can become fiercely assertive and outspoken. This assertive behavior can look similar to the assertiveness of ESTJs/ENTJs, but the motivation comes from internal values (Fi) rather than an external drive for logical order or control (Te).

Why it’s often an “Illusion”:

Despite the ability to exhibit similar behaviors, it’s typically an illusion because the core operating system is fundamentally different:

• Dominant Function: The primary driver for ENFPs is Ne (exploring possibilities and connections). For ESTJs and ENTJs, it’s Te (organizing the external world logically). Relying on a tertiary function (Te for the ENFP) is more effortful and less natural than relying on a dominant function (Te for ESTJ/ENTJ). An ENFP can use Te effectively, but it’s not where they naturally default or gain energy; it often serves their Ne and Fi.
• Decision-Making Axis: ENFPs primarily make decisions based on their internal values and how things align with their beliefs (Fi) and explored possibilities (Ne). ESTJs and ENTJs primarily make decisions based on objective logic, efficiency, and results (Te). While ENFPs can use logic, their ultimate filter is often value-based, which can sometimes conflict with pure Te efficiency in a way it wouldn’t for a Te-dominant.
• Preference for Structure (J) vs. Spontaneity (P): ESTJs and ENTJs are Judging types, thriving on structure, planning, and closure in the outer world. ENFPs are Perceiving types, preferring flexibility, adaptability, and keeping options open. While an ENFP can create structure using Te, too much rigid structure can feel stifling to their dominant Ne, which craves exploration and spontaneity. For ESTJs/ENTJs, structure is energizing and provides a sense of control and predictability.

In conclusion, an ENFP woman might have the illusion that she can be like an ESTJ or ENTJ woman because she possesses the capacity to utilize her tertiary Te, allowing her to exhibit behaviors like organization, decisiveness, and assertiveness that are core to the Te-dominant types. However, the fundamental difference in their dominant functions (Ne vs. Te), their primary decision-making processes (Fi vs. Te), and their inherent preference for spontaneity (P) over rigid structure (J) means that operating consistently as an ESTJ or ENTJ would likely be unnatural, draining, and ultimately not reflective of the ENFP’s core personality. They can act like them for periods or in specific situations, but it’s not their intrinsic mode of being.

For her Psychological Wellbeing, she should remind herself that as often as possible.