Simedba Model for Relationships

Close relationships

This table is my model for the theoretical matches for close relationships.

The 5 categories are:

✓ Subconscious match: This category is PARTIALLY based on the Socionics model for duality. The personality type and their match both belong to the same “quadra” and have the same cognitive functions. They understand each other very well. They need to agree on common priorities.

✓ Perceiving Shadow match: Based on MBTI recommendations and used on some Dating apps based on the 16 personalities. The personality type and their match both share the same decision-making functions. However, their perceiving functions are shadows of each other, meaning that Extroverted perceiving functions are matched with Introverted perceiving functions.

✓ Mirror match: Based on my observations, many recommendations, and the pure definition of the personality type. The personality type and their match both belong to the same “quadra” and have the same cognitive functions. They understand each other very well. They are just the extroverted version or the introverted version of the other. When they watch each other, they can see their extrovert side or their introvert side. It’s like they look into a mirror.

✓ Challenge match: This relationship is not common though it has a very strong potential. The reason for uncommonality is that the worlds where the two potential partners live are very different. However, these worlds are work-related activities and default interests. So it’s rare and unusual that they start a relationship from their natural environment. They will meet when one of them makes the conscious decision to start caring about the Life Aspects that they value but used to always give a lower priority. It can be a fantastic relationship for mutual growth and balancing each other. Weaknesses are lessened, and Strengths are fortified.

The personality type and their match share the same introverted function. They challenge each other with their opposite Extroverted functions applied to the same things that they care about. They must realize they complete each other instead of confronting their opposite Approaches. It’s about reaching an optimized consensus for both without dominance from one of them. There is no romance in the beginning. The sexual attraction is, by default, present and manageable without being overwhelming or out of control. The opposite extroverted functions on a comfortable cognitive distance are associated with this healthy sexual attraction.

✓ Balance Match: Based on many successful couples that I analyzed.

The growth is not as much as in the challenge match but it’s more gradual or steady.

In terms of cognitive functions, they have the same extroverted Function, which is essential for staying engaged in the relationship and hanging out together. The introverted functions are, however, very different in terms of attitude and position in the Stack.

Example: INFJ and ESFJ

They have the same extroverted functions: Extroverted Feeling Fe. However, distanced by one position in the Stack. This allows balance and pushing each other to use the other less used extroverted function. It pushes the INFJ to use Extroverted Feeling Fe more and the ESFJ to use it less to catch up with Introverted Intuition Ni. It’s usually not overwhelming and not exhausting but empowering with some effort.

The introverted functions of the INFJ are Introverted Intuition Ni in the First position and Introverted thinking Ti in the 3rd position. For the ESFJ, Introverted Sensing Si is in the 2nd position and Introverted Thinking Ti is in the 4th position. This allows an important complementarity to cover the limitations of each second function. Ni and Si complement each other as Extroverted Feeling Fe in consecutive positions do as well.

The Balance Match can be a fantastic relationship, romantic, or friendship when they are both open-minded enough.

Conclusion:

I hope many new/old couples will reflect on these Matches and solid close partnerships (Friendships and life partners) will arise and prosper.

Out of the 5 close relationships, there are only three romantic relationships: The perceiving shadow match, the Challenge match, and the Balance Match.

The other two, Subconscious Match and Mirror Match, are close friendships only.

Below are the matches for Distant relationships regarding dating or Friendships.

A Dating match is a person whom you can only date!

It’s a romantic movie type of relationship. Cloud ☁️ nine, high dopamine, intense feelings of Care that we call Love, high sexual attraction 🧲 and deep attachment. It’s only intense surface level attraction that happens before they get to know each other.

However, it’s not suitable for any close relationship. Living together every day for more than 6 months (on average) is an enormous challenge and a lot of work. For most people, it becomes toxic at a certain point in time. It can be after 6 months or before. The decline of the relationship is certain for many psychological reasons. The differences were always present. They become unbearable over time, especially after the intense emotions start fading. The emotional decline is also certain, no matter what, for most people.

This relationship helps us grow as humans. We should know how to use it wisely. Anyone who starts learning about relationships theoretically and in practice will hopefully realize that this relationship is not for marriage. It’s not a lifetime, forever, soulmate relationship. Anyone who wants to challenge these universal “Laws” will just suffer. Of course, many people challenge these Laws mainly because they don’t know them.

These matches are what people want to refer to when they say “the opposites attract each other”. It’s true. We will explain the opposition after the table below.

Match category/ Personality type	Shadow match	Twin Match
INFJ	INFP	INTJ
INFP	INFJ	ISFP
INTJ	INTP	INFJ
INTP	INTJ	ISTP
ENFJ	ENFP	ESFJ
ENFP	ENFJ	ENTP
ENTP	ENTJ	ENFP
ENTJ	ENTP	ESTJ
ESTP	ESTJ	ESFP
ESTJ	ESTP	ENTJ
ISTP	ISTJ	INTP
ISTJ	ISTP	ISFJ
ISFJ	ISFP	ISFJ
ISFP	ISFJ	INFP
ESFP	ESFJ	ESTP
ESFJ	ESFP	ENFJ

✓Shadow match for Distant Friendship:

All the cognitive functions are opposite in terms of extroverted orientation or introverted orientation. They are shadows of each other.

Example: Introverted intuition Ni and Extroverted intuition Ne are shadows of each other.

All the cognitive functions in the conscious are present in the unconscious of the dating match.

Example: INFJ and INFP.

COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS MODELS:

INFJ: 1st Ni, 2nd Fe, 3rd Ti and 4th Se.

INFP: 1st Fi, 2nd Ne, 3rd Si and 4th Te.

In the Myers Briggs type indicator (MBTI) and Socionics, INFJ and INFP have the three same preferences and the last preference is the opposite.

The last preference regarding the judging orientation is the opposite. The letters P and J are used to identify the judging orientation. Meaning: Is their dominant extroverted cognitive function a judging function or a perceiving function?

Same Example:

INFJ has Fe as their dominant extroverted cognitive function. Fe is a judging function. Meaning, it’s used to make decisions. So the J letter is the 4th letter in “INFJ”.

INFP has Ne as their dominant extroverted cognitive function. Ne is a perceiving function. Meaning, it’s used to collect information. So the P letter is the 4th letter in “INFP”.

✓Twin Match for Dating:

A twin match is a person with whom you share the same dominant cognitive function.

This twin match has opposite attitude of the Challenge Match. Meaning Extrovert in one is introvert in the other. Example: INTJ as a twin match and ENTJ as a Challenge Match.

One only for dating. The other one can be for close relationship.

Disclaimer:

All the Matches names are my unique creations. They are part of my intellectual property.

Explanations of each cognitive function are made inside the articles. They make sense amid situations. Explaining them detached from practical applications is not helpful and can be misleading.

Exceptions of all these matches are possible when the two parts of the relationship have the tools to understand each other deeply and care about each other enough.