“Eyes 👀 are windows to the Soul”. What does that mean?
When I look at someone’s face, particularly their eyes, I’m gauging their emotions towards me when they look at me.
Because of people’s different brain 🧠 wirings and backgrounds, some assume that you are attracted to them, especially the opposite sex, some assume that you are a pervert, some assume that you are horny and need to get laid, some assume that you are lonely and need company, some assume that you are a stranger from another culture or city, some assume that you need money from them, some assume that you will ask them about something and for something, some assume that you are lost and need to find directions, some assume that you are stalking them, some assume that you want to rob them, some assume that you are weird or crazy.
One of these thoughts happens in the brain 🧠 of the person to whom you are looking. It can be true as it can be completely wrong. People need to make assumptions to answer the questions that bother them in their heads. Instead of trying to understand or ask questions to confirm their assumptions, they choose the easiest way intellectually. Sure, this effort is hard for most people, but there is a threshold between laziness and curiosity.
I can be in my comfort zone sometimes, but when I stay there, most of the time, I am unhealthy, so I hurt myself or others or both systematically.
Some people enjoy making fun of other people 😄 especially ISFP and ESFP women. Anytime they see something different from what they are used to, they start gossiping and making fun of the person behind his /her back. INFP and ENFP can do the same but they are more open to novelty. So they may consider a behaviour as strange but this is not why they make fun of it. They make fun of it just because it’s an excuse to have fun, laugh, and subconsciously feel superior to compensate for their insecurities.
They are not aware of this subconscious desire to feel superior when they make fun of others but it’s a deeply rooted feeling that they need to express so they can make up for their shortcomings and not feel surpassed by others.
For me, making fun of someone is a humanistic sin that I forbid myself from doing either behind their back or to their face. It’s not fun for me, anyway. I don’t need to feel superior compared to others. I love myself, I’m proud of who I am and I’m grateful for all the gifts that Life gave me and still giving me.
Honestly, my first and natural reaction to people who make fun of others is that they are evil and narrow-minded. Now, after I have studied psychology for many years and studied people extensively, I still have this reaction. I am aware intellectually and logically that this is their innate psychology that is controlling their behavior, but emotionally, I despise it.
When I look at someone’s behavior, I’m analyzing their personality type. I’m verifying my theories about them, making adjustments to my beliefs about them, and formulating more precise judgments about them.
Since I’m aware that I can speculate or assume some traits without having exact proofs from reality, I need to check the facts and make my beliefs and theories more accurate and grounded in reality.
In the environment where I live, people misunderstand why I look at them and assume one of the hypotheses I mentioned before. They are all wrong except the first, but it’s an emotional attraction, not a sexual attraction. So, it has nothing to do with their clothes, their hair, or their body. My intuition detected that this person can be a source of positive energy and pleasant emotions. So I am naturally attracted to sources of positive emotions since it is something that I need every day and all the time. Of course, as a man, I am attracted to feminine energy, but I will not keep looking because it’s useless and even counterproductive if I am interested in the person hypothetically.
When I am triggered sexually, I avoid looking at the person. I don’t want to waste my sexual energy on a stranger that I have no emotional connection with. This sexual attraction is temporary, anyway. Even if I meet this person, once I start talking and I don’t like them, I will be turned off, and the sexual attraction will almost disappear. The emotional attraction is a lot stronger for me than the sexual attraction. I have Fe as a second function and Se as 4th and last subconscious function. So I can neglect Se whenever I have to but to neglect Fe in a situation is more difficult. I need to have my Ni and Ti both against this feeling held by Fe so I can bypass or destroy it. It’s a nerdy 🤓 ✨✨ 😂 explanation, but those who can understand it can understand me and other INFJs a lot better. They can also apply this process to their personality type:
- Neglect The 4th/ last cognitive function when needed.
2) Bypass the second function behavior by combining the first and third functions against this unwanted behavior.
It’s a high level of self-discipline, self-management, and self-control but it’s doable after some training.
Well, I hope you’ve got some useful tips for introspection and people assessment today.
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