Last night, I watched almost 3 episodes of a Serie standing on my feet looking at my brother’s Smartphone while he was having dinner, and I was eating a Casserole!
I was watching with him and didn’t realize that all this time (1*45 min+2*25 min) I was standing, not eating, just watching, not feeling my feet or my whole body. It’s quite a revelation and realization as I am usually aware of my feet when I’m standing up and I try to sit as soon as possible! My brain was so consumed and focused that I wasn’t in touch with my body anymore. Only 2 or 3 times I felt some tiredness then I dove again in the watching. We can say that it’s because I have dominant Ni Introverted Intuition and my 4th cognitive function is Extraverted sensing Se. The latter was so dominated by its polar function Ni to the point of reaching this high level of concentration and immersion in a Serie that was not exceptional. It was normal compared to the dozens of series I used to watch in my “watching era”.
Therefore, it’s not the greatness of the content that put me in this immersion state but just maybe I didn’t watch a Serie for a long time or the novelty of my watching angle standing up staring at a small screen next to my brother with whom I didn’t watch a movie for more than 15 years. Back then, it was just because we had another family member to watch with. My relationship with my brother is far from being great. He has a rare personality too and a difficult one for me: INTJ. He keeps consuming books during the day every day and at night he ‘consumes’ movies/series or Reality TV mostly in the English Language, occasionally local ones in the Moroccan Darija.
So, I watched with him while commenting and analyzing sarcastically some scenes like I like to do. He was reacting positively as he did some work on himself after the dozens of verbal clashes we had on almost every normal conversation, which turned into a debate. He likes debating everything like the ENTPs. The problem for me is not debating per se as I enjoy this intellectual stimulation from time to time. It’s rather about the negative emotions and angry emotions that he releases and exudes while debating. It’s exactly a verbal fight about ideas that we are not even involved directly in. These toxic emotions hurt me a lot and make me angry as well over topics that don’t need these emotions at all.
Anyway, these emotions are not justified to be “sent” to me like that and I don’t endorse that anyone has the right to “perform” emotional attacks on anyone especially when the recipient hasn’t done anything except have a different opinion or perspective on the matter.
All of this is to say that the relationship INFJ-INTJ is not easy. It needs “awareness” and acceptance to be always challenged by the other, emotionally and intellectually. What bonded us this night is the episodes around an ENFP woman! This personality type can be interesting for both INFJ and INTJ. According to some dating models [1] [2], they are the perfect match for dating for both types but they are wrong for the Infj. Infj and enfp are not compatible at all. As an INFJ, I confirm my attraction to the INFP inside them because of their Fi Introverted Feeling, which makes them Feminine, and their extroverted intuition, which makes them energetic and good at connecting ideas.
However, I get turned off by their aggressive and moody behavior using Fi to produce negative emotions and Extroverted thinking Te to give orders and attack verbally. I understand that this aggressiveness is necessary to deal with some types of people, if not the majority, but I don’t accept it to be used against me. She can criticize me as much as she wants in a caring way, but not in an aggressive way. She will just hurt my feelings. I will become angry and uncomfortable. My brain will reject almost everything she says by default as it is an attack and an attempt to force her ideas on me.
One of the first things I hate and reject in this life is being intellectually controlled or emotionally attacked. So, she’s far from succeeding in all her aggressive attempts. I am psychologically built to resist and destroy all these attacks. Therefore, what I am hoping when I deal with ENFPs, is that they debate with me in a calm way and criticize me in a caring way as I know their Fi cognitive function makes them crave to be loved and valued for who they are and cared for regularly. Especially when they come back from their fights with the world, looking forward to feeling the love and to be feminine “again” for ENFP women, and to be “sensitive” and emotional again for ENFP men.
Let’s talk a little bit about the Series “Fool Me Once”[3] [4], and the episodes that I analyzed. The main character in the first 3 episodes is an ENFP woman, like the majority of movies that have a female lead character, or at least the ones I watched. I can affirm this last sentence because I analyzed hundreds of movies/episodes that I watched entirely and scrutinized over the 20 years of having movies as a main hobby, as a school of Life, and as a way to explore the world and understand it. Well, The ENFP is a pilot in the army who was disgraced because of a mistake she made that caused others to die. Her Husband and sister were murdered, and she’s looking around like a detective trying to answer the questions she has about their deaths. Her husband is from a very wealthy British family.
There is nothing extraordinary about the story so far, but my goal is to analyze how the ENFP woman will react in different situations, whether is it coherent with her personality type, and whether is she psychologically strong enough to manage these 3 tragedies that happened to her almost simultaneously. The ENFP woman is important to study as she was, is, and will continue to be a model for many women all over the world. She inspires other women, trailblazes, and tries to show them what’s possible. She’s a born influencer and a seducer when she wants to and when she becomes more aware of her psychology.
[1] “Are we compatible?” Accessed: Jan. 06, 2024. [Online]. Available: https://personalityperfect.com/app/
[2] “So Syncd | The Personality Type Dating App,” So Syncd – Personality Dating. Accessed: Jan. 06, 2024. [Online]. Available: https://www.sosyncd.com/
[3] “‘Fool Me Once’ Ending Explained — Who Killed Joe in Harlan Coben’s Series?” Accessed: Jan. 05, 2024. [Online]. Available: https://collider.com/fool-me-once-ending-explained/
[4] “Fool Me Once: Find Out the Cast and Plot of Harlan Coben’s Thriller,” Netflix Tudum. Accessed: Jan. 05, 2024. [Online]. Available: https://www.netflix.com/tudum/articles/fool-me-once-release-date-news
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